Here we go, blogging it out:
So we only have a few days left of this thing, and I'm so proud of all of us. Each one of us has taken on our own habits and neuroses, and we've pushed through the pain and the fatigue and the "I can't" and the "I don't wanna." Each one of us has changed, inside and out. Awesome job, everybody!
Wait -- why does this sound like a Day 90 post? Because I'm getting a case of senioritis. Remember that? Only a few months left to go in that last year of school, and your every impulse is to just coast till the end. That's kind of how I'm feeling today. Today's jumprope was just fine, enjoyable even. We're getting these emails from Patrick that are going to help us keep up our success in the post-PCP world, and part of me is already there. Add to that, I am pretty scared by this week's workouts, and I am inclined to just...kinda...wait out the next few days. I wouldn't dream of skipping a workout or going on an eating rampage, but I can tell that my natural laziness is trying to surface, and I could very possibly take it easy until Day 90. I should also mention that I have a couple of big writing deadlines coming up this week, so there's additional pressure to slack a bit on PCP world.
So, I respectfully ask you, my PCP teammates (and anyone else who is reading this) to kick me in the ass. I want to finish this 90 days feeling really strong. I want to surprise myself again, even in this last week. I want to surmount my tendency to retreat in the face of a challenge. I want to do more, and do better, than I think I can do right now. I want my will to be strong and my goal to be clear.
Let the ass-kicking begin. (And let me know if you need yours kicked!)
Monday, August 23, 2010
Day 84: Gym visit
About a year ago, when I had just moved from New York to Louisville, I did a lot of research to find the right gym in town. I knew that I was going to have more time to take care of my health, and I wanted to make a commitment to doing that -- and the best way at the time that I knew was to join a gym. I looked at three places: a fancy-pants "wellness center" (partially run by the hospital where my husband was working), a kind of run-of-the-mill commercial gym, and the YMCA. I settled on the Y because it was mid-priced, had everything I needed, had free childcare, and I liked the vibe: no preening, no loud music, everybody just nice and doing their own thing.
Of course, my membership was woefully underused. My daughter already goes to daycare for 3 hours each morning, so I felt bad about putting her in childcare again for another hour or so later in the day -- so I wound up going in the morning, when she was already at daycare. Pretty much all I did was get on the treadmill or elliptical, which was useful when I was training for the 5K races in the winter. They offered loads of classes at the Y and I always meant to try one out, but just never got there. They had some personal training options but frankly, the personal trainers there kind of worried me -- I had asked one about some leg pain while running and he gave me an completely useless answer while looking me up and down. Blechhh.
My membership at the Y ended in June, at the end of my first PCP month. I spent some time on the elliptical trainers there while waiting for my knee to improve after a couple of weeks of jumping, but once I went back to jumping rope, I didn't need the Y. It's a 15-20 minute drive away from my house, too, which took up valuable time in my day. So much better to be able to work out at home, whenever I have time, even when my daughter is upstairs napping and I can't leave the house. We have a neighborhood pool that we've been using all summer, so we didn't need the pool at the Y either. I'm looking at a couple of other options for indoor swimming for both of us over the winter.
Today I decided to visit a different place, about 3 minutes from where I live, just to check it out. Snap Fitness is a franchise that seems to be growing really quickly -- this place wasn't even open last year when I was looking for a gym. The deal is that the place is open 24/7 and you enter with a key card. There's only a staff person there a few hours each day. It's got treadmills and arc trainers, plus a bunch of other machines, free weights, exercise balls, etc. -- pretty much anything you would need. When I visited today and had the manager show me around, there were 2 people working out, both pretty heavy. The place was clean, bright, and spacious and I liked the idea that I could come anytime and nobody would really bother me. (Weird: they also have a tanning bed, the use of which is included in your membership. Uh, yuck.)
It seemed a little expensive for what you get: $50 a month for a couple, plus $45 fee to start. It's month-to-month, though, so no contract, which is good. They offer personal training services and a weekly "boot camp" for extra fees. If I were going to join a gym, I think I would be happy to go there and just do my thing. My husband was talking about buying a treadmill for the basement, but I would rather join this place and use theirs instead.
BUT -- I don't want to join a gym. I don't need to join a gym now. During this whole process, I've been really glad to be at home where I can sweat and curse and look like hell and not worry about what anybody else thinks. I work out in old shorts and a sports bra, not something I'm going to wear in public. On a rainy, cold morning when it would be hard to get in the car and go to the gym, I have one less deterrent keeping me from exercise if I only have to go downstairs. Before starting this program, I didn't know what to do to exercise at home -- maybe some DVDs? But those get old reallllly quick. I feel so much stronger now with the knowledge of how to get it done at home, on my own, without paying a monthly fee to anybody.
Of course, my membership was woefully underused. My daughter already goes to daycare for 3 hours each morning, so I felt bad about putting her in childcare again for another hour or so later in the day -- so I wound up going in the morning, when she was already at daycare. Pretty much all I did was get on the treadmill or elliptical, which was useful when I was training for the 5K races in the winter. They offered loads of classes at the Y and I always meant to try one out, but just never got there. They had some personal training options but frankly, the personal trainers there kind of worried me -- I had asked one about some leg pain while running and he gave me an completely useless answer while looking me up and down. Blechhh.
My membership at the Y ended in June, at the end of my first PCP month. I spent some time on the elliptical trainers there while waiting for my knee to improve after a couple of weeks of jumping, but once I went back to jumping rope, I didn't need the Y. It's a 15-20 minute drive away from my house, too, which took up valuable time in my day. So much better to be able to work out at home, whenever I have time, even when my daughter is upstairs napping and I can't leave the house. We have a neighborhood pool that we've been using all summer, so we didn't need the pool at the Y either. I'm looking at a couple of other options for indoor swimming for both of us over the winter.
Today I decided to visit a different place, about 3 minutes from where I live, just to check it out. Snap Fitness is a franchise that seems to be growing really quickly -- this place wasn't even open last year when I was looking for a gym. The deal is that the place is open 24/7 and you enter with a key card. There's only a staff person there a few hours each day. It's got treadmills and arc trainers, plus a bunch of other machines, free weights, exercise balls, etc. -- pretty much anything you would need. When I visited today and had the manager show me around, there were 2 people working out, both pretty heavy. The place was clean, bright, and spacious and I liked the idea that I could come anytime and nobody would really bother me. (Weird: they also have a tanning bed, the use of which is included in your membership. Uh, yuck.)
It seemed a little expensive for what you get: $50 a month for a couple, plus $45 fee to start. It's month-to-month, though, so no contract, which is good. They offer personal training services and a weekly "boot camp" for extra fees. If I were going to join a gym, I think I would be happy to go there and just do my thing. My husband was talking about buying a treadmill for the basement, but I would rather join this place and use theirs instead.
BUT -- I don't want to join a gym. I don't need to join a gym now. During this whole process, I've been really glad to be at home where I can sweat and curse and look like hell and not worry about what anybody else thinks. I work out in old shorts and a sports bra, not something I'm going to wear in public. On a rainy, cold morning when it would be hard to get in the car and go to the gym, I have one less deterrent keeping me from exercise if I only have to go downstairs. Before starting this program, I didn't know what to do to exercise at home -- maybe some DVDs? But those get old reallllly quick. I feel so much stronger now with the knowledge of how to get it done at home, on my own, without paying a monthly fee to anybody.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Day 83: Busy
It's been a busy few days around here, and the weekend is winding down. I'm grateful for that, because I am TIRED. All good, though.
Friday night we went to a baseball game with my parents and some of their friends. My dad says the (minor league) baseball stadium isn't really a stadium, it's a food court where some people play baseball. The food options were truly dizzying. Every 10 feet, another stand with different things. I packed my own supper, though -- chicken & mushrooms in a teeny bit of soy sauce, and whole wheat bread. Can I tell you, I was so HAPPY to have my good food with me and not have to try to find something decent there? Everybody else with us pointed to my food and said, "I think I want some of that!" I gave myself permission to have a beer, but I wanted to wait until I had eaten something first -- then as it turned out, I didn't really want the beer, so I skipped it.
Last night was Indulgence #3. We headed to this French restaurant called Le Relais, a classic bistro in an unusual setting. It's located in a wing of the old airport in town, which is now a private airfield. The airport building is very art deco, and the whole place kind of captures the romance of flying in the 1930s and 40s. We sat outside on a beautiful evening and watched the planes take off and land. We ate very well -- crab cakes, grouper with vegetable risotto, creme brulee, wine, and bread with BUTTER. (Oh, butter, it's been a while...) Being a good French restaurant, though, the portion sizes were fairly small and I didn't feel overstuffed when we left.
It was all really good, but I have to say, not as exciting as this meal would have been a few months ago. What I really enjoyed -- and I experienced this during the last indulgence when we went to a restaurant -- was being in a beautiful setting with my husband, having the time and luxury to focus on each other and talk without telling a little person to "put that down right now." It also felt very luxurious to have someone else prepare the food and then take the dirty dishes away! So, lesson learned: restaurant meals out are nice for the experience, but the food has become a lot less important.
Today we went to a friends' house to go swimming this afternoon. I crammed in my workout this morning (58 minutes! Boo-ya!) and let me tell you, jumping was rough this morning. I didn't experience any particular side effects from my indulgence last night, but it took me a long time to get my jumping groove today. Maybe too much butter and wine? Who knows, but it was not pretty for a while there. I thought I'd be exhausted this afternoon but I spent about 90 minutes in the pool with my daughter, and feeling fine. It's so nice to have energy and endurance to do all the things this 2-year-old wants me to do.
OK, time to catch up on Project Runway from this week. Hope everybody has had a good weekend -- will be reading your blogs soon and catching up with you all!
Friday night we went to a baseball game with my parents and some of their friends. My dad says the (minor league) baseball stadium isn't really a stadium, it's a food court where some people play baseball. The food options were truly dizzying. Every 10 feet, another stand with different things. I packed my own supper, though -- chicken & mushrooms in a teeny bit of soy sauce, and whole wheat bread. Can I tell you, I was so HAPPY to have my good food with me and not have to try to find something decent there? Everybody else with us pointed to my food and said, "I think I want some of that!" I gave myself permission to have a beer, but I wanted to wait until I had eaten something first -- then as it turned out, I didn't really want the beer, so I skipped it.
Last night was Indulgence #3. We headed to this French restaurant called Le Relais, a classic bistro in an unusual setting. It's located in a wing of the old airport in town, which is now a private airfield. The airport building is very art deco, and the whole place kind of captures the romance of flying in the 1930s and 40s. We sat outside on a beautiful evening and watched the planes take off and land. We ate very well -- crab cakes, grouper with vegetable risotto, creme brulee, wine, and bread with BUTTER. (Oh, butter, it's been a while...) Being a good French restaurant, though, the portion sizes were fairly small and I didn't feel overstuffed when we left.
It was all really good, but I have to say, not as exciting as this meal would have been a few months ago. What I really enjoyed -- and I experienced this during the last indulgence when we went to a restaurant -- was being in a beautiful setting with my husband, having the time and luxury to focus on each other and talk without telling a little person to "put that down right now." It also felt very luxurious to have someone else prepare the food and then take the dirty dishes away! So, lesson learned: restaurant meals out are nice for the experience, but the food has become a lot less important.
Today we went to a friends' house to go swimming this afternoon. I crammed in my workout this morning (58 minutes! Boo-ya!) and let me tell you, jumping was rough this morning. I didn't experience any particular side effects from my indulgence last night, but it took me a long time to get my jumping groove today. Maybe too much butter and wine? Who knows, but it was not pretty for a while there. I thought I'd be exhausted this afternoon but I spent about 90 minutes in the pool with my daughter, and feeling fine. It's so nice to have energy and endurance to do all the things this 2-year-old wants me to do.
OK, time to catch up on Project Runway from this week. Hope everybody has had a good weekend -- will be reading your blogs soon and catching up with you all!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Day 81: Sore!
It's legs day again here on PCP Street. Yeeeee-ow! Creep is such a killer. I'm not even going to mention how many steps we're doing because I don't want to scare the newbies. :) Suffice it to say, it's a lot. But I can actually do it, which is amazing to me. I was thinking about what Louise said, how she was grateful that her muscles didn't pay attention to her brain telling them what they couldn't do. I wasn't sure about making it through that last set of creep, but I decided to let my muscles tell me instead of my brain. And, of course, I was able to do them all. Then my muscles yelled at me for a little bit, because they were TIRED.
This was all after a little walk/run outside. Today was one of those days where I just did not want to see that jump rope, and the humidity here is finally below 98%, so outside I went. I intended to walk for a while, but I felt so good that I just kept breaking into a run for a bit. THIS IS STRANGE.
Before starting the PCP I was a beginning runner. I did my first 5K almost a year ago, and I did another in April. A good friend of mine is a very happy new runner -- she's really taken to it and now goes all over the place doing 5K and 10K runs -- and she encouraged me to try my first 5K. I was terrified but she came along with me and it was actually pretty fun. I had to take some walk breaks but my overall time wasn't bad. Then we teamed up with 3 other women and did a marathon relay in Louisville (my portion was 5K, hers was 10K) and that was fun, too. Really hard, but I enjoyed the excitement of being around all those people and the whole hoopla of the event.
But I really didn't like running. It was really difficult for me to run for any length of time -- 5 minutes felt like an eternity. Basically I was doing it to be more active, hopefully lose some weight, and do something with my friend. I didn't really lose any weight, probably because I ate like a horse, rationalizing that I had "worked hard" today so I "deserved" a cookie or whatever. (Now I really see the folly of those ideas.) I did the training I needed to do to get through those races, and then I said I'd see how I felt after the PCP.
I'm still not sure I'm going to be a real runner, but I can say that running today was easier and more fun than it has EVER been. 20 pounds less of me to move around makes a big difference. I'm lighter and stronger, and my cardiovascular conditioning is so much better, but I hadn't really noticed those things until I tried to do something that I used to do. I can't wait to go try another yoga class now -- I used to do a fair amount of yoga before my daughter was born, but have only done it a few times since then. But I'm willing to bet I'll enjoy it more now.
Big fun weekend coming up. We're going to a baseball game tonight with my parents -- there's a nice little minor-league stadium downtown, right by the river, that everybody says is great, but we've never been. (I'm packing my supper to take with me -- hot dogs, no thank you!) Then tomorrow night is my third indulgence, a little late because of my husband's work schedule. Our anniversary is next week (married 9 years, together for 14 years), so we're going out for a lovely dinner on Saturday night. Sunday we're all going to a friend's house for the afternoon for swimming and dinner. I'll have to cram in my workouts amongst all that fun, but it doesn't seem quite as hard as it used to be.
Hope everybody is hanging in there -- my Day 81 pals as well as my Day 51 and Day 20 buddies.
This was all after a little walk/run outside. Today was one of those days where I just did not want to see that jump rope, and the humidity here is finally below 98%, so outside I went. I intended to walk for a while, but I felt so good that I just kept breaking into a run for a bit. THIS IS STRANGE.
Before starting the PCP I was a beginning runner. I did my first 5K almost a year ago, and I did another in April. A good friend of mine is a very happy new runner -- she's really taken to it and now goes all over the place doing 5K and 10K runs -- and she encouraged me to try my first 5K. I was terrified but she came along with me and it was actually pretty fun. I had to take some walk breaks but my overall time wasn't bad. Then we teamed up with 3 other women and did a marathon relay in Louisville (my portion was 5K, hers was 10K) and that was fun, too. Really hard, but I enjoyed the excitement of being around all those people and the whole hoopla of the event.
But I really didn't like running. It was really difficult for me to run for any length of time -- 5 minutes felt like an eternity. Basically I was doing it to be more active, hopefully lose some weight, and do something with my friend. I didn't really lose any weight, probably because I ate like a horse, rationalizing that I had "worked hard" today so I "deserved" a cookie or whatever. (Now I really see the folly of those ideas.) I did the training I needed to do to get through those races, and then I said I'd see how I felt after the PCP.
I'm still not sure I'm going to be a real runner, but I can say that running today was easier and more fun than it has EVER been. 20 pounds less of me to move around makes a big difference. I'm lighter and stronger, and my cardiovascular conditioning is so much better, but I hadn't really noticed those things until I tried to do something that I used to do. I can't wait to go try another yoga class now -- I used to do a fair amount of yoga before my daughter was born, but have only done it a few times since then. But I'm willing to bet I'll enjoy it more now.
Big fun weekend coming up. We're going to a baseball game tonight with my parents -- there's a nice little minor-league stadium downtown, right by the river, that everybody says is great, but we've never been. (I'm packing my supper to take with me -- hot dogs, no thank you!) Then tomorrow night is my third indulgence, a little late because of my husband's work schedule. Our anniversary is next week (married 9 years, together for 14 years), so we're going out for a lovely dinner on Saturday night. Sunday we're all going to a friend's house for the afternoon for swimming and dinner. I'll have to cram in my workouts amongst all that fun, but it doesn't seem quite as hard as it used to be.
Hope everybody is hanging in there -- my Day 81 pals as well as my Day 51 and Day 20 buddies.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Day 80: Get off my lawn!
I feel like I'm becoming a grumpy old man when it comes to food.
Let me explain. I don't watch much TV but when I do, the commercials for food and/or restaurants totally gross me out. I can't stand to see ads for big juicy burgers, or those "bottomless" pasta bowls at Olive Garden. (Doesn't "bottomless" sound dirty?) The food just looks repulsive, too shiny, and just too much.
The ad that really got to me today is for Carnation Instant Breakfast, a "nutritional shake" that you're supposed to consume for breakfast. The premise of the ad was that your kid won't do well in school without breakfast. A boy slogs down the hallway of his school, his feet encased in heavy weights. Because he didn't have breakfast, he doesn't have the energy to do anything at school. Cut to a shot of kid at home in the kitchen, Mom looking on with a beatific smile, as he chugs this chocolate shake thing. The kitchen counters are completely empty, totally clean and gleaming. There is not one shred of evidence that there has ever been any FOOD in that kitchen.
And then here's me, yelling at the TV: "What about giving your kid some eggs and toast? Is that too much trouble??"
Oy, I'm becoming a grumpy old man.
But seriously, is this what we've come to? I understand being busy in the morning, and I guess something is better than nothing, but is the best you can do giving your kid a Slim-fast? I wouldn't have dreamed of giving my daughter something like that for breakfast even well before starting this program, but I can tell that I've become even more disconnected from the typical modern American way of eating. (And that's a good thing.)
On another note: no coughing child last night, so I got a full night of sleep! And she's spending the afternoon with her grandmother, so I'm enjoying a day to myself. I organized my office, I'm going to get my eyes checked (yeah, I know how to kick back) and then it'll be workout time.
A word of advice to people who are talking about having to get up all night to pee: if you make sure not to turn on any lights, you can get back to sleep much faster. I can vouch for this as someone who used to get up all the time at night with a little baby -- if you turn on a light, even for a couple of minutes, your body will start to get the signal that you're supposed to be waking up now. If you need a nightlight to find your way or whatever, that'll be okay as long as the light is fairly dim. But don't go into the loo and flip on the light or you'll have a harder time getting back to sleep.
Day 80! Wow, hard to believe!
Let me explain. I don't watch much TV but when I do, the commercials for food and/or restaurants totally gross me out. I can't stand to see ads for big juicy burgers, or those "bottomless" pasta bowls at Olive Garden. (Doesn't "bottomless" sound dirty?) The food just looks repulsive, too shiny, and just too much.
The ad that really got to me today is for Carnation Instant Breakfast, a "nutritional shake" that you're supposed to consume for breakfast. The premise of the ad was that your kid won't do well in school without breakfast. A boy slogs down the hallway of his school, his feet encased in heavy weights. Because he didn't have breakfast, he doesn't have the energy to do anything at school. Cut to a shot of kid at home in the kitchen, Mom looking on with a beatific smile, as he chugs this chocolate shake thing. The kitchen counters are completely empty, totally clean and gleaming. There is not one shred of evidence that there has ever been any FOOD in that kitchen.
And then here's me, yelling at the TV: "What about giving your kid some eggs and toast? Is that too much trouble??"
Oy, I'm becoming a grumpy old man.
But seriously, is this what we've come to? I understand being busy in the morning, and I guess something is better than nothing, but is the best you can do giving your kid a Slim-fast? I wouldn't have dreamed of giving my daughter something like that for breakfast even well before starting this program, but I can tell that I've become even more disconnected from the typical modern American way of eating. (And that's a good thing.)
On another note: no coughing child last night, so I got a full night of sleep! And she's spending the afternoon with her grandmother, so I'm enjoying a day to myself. I organized my office, I'm going to get my eyes checked (yeah, I know how to kick back) and then it'll be workout time.
A word of advice to people who are talking about having to get up all night to pee: if you make sure not to turn on any lights, you can get back to sleep much faster. I can vouch for this as someone who used to get up all the time at night with a little baby -- if you turn on a light, even for a couple of minutes, your body will start to get the signal that you're supposed to be waking up now. If you need a nightlight to find your way or whatever, that'll be okay as long as the light is fairly dim. But don't go into the loo and flip on the light or you'll have a harder time getting back to sleep.
Day 80! Wow, hard to believe!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Day 79: Yawn
It's been a couple of days of "life intersecting with PCP" and I'm pretty damn tired.
My daughter has a mild cold which doesn't cause her too much trouble during the day, but at night all the congestion makes her cough her little head off. So last night and the night before, I was up several times during the night, administering medicine, water, and hugs. (If she's having a really tough time, I sit up with her in a chair for a bit -- being vertical seems to help.) Both mornings I was planning to get up at 5:30 to do my workout, but both mornings saw me heading back to bed at 5 after being up with her, then deciding on a couple more hours of sleep instead and turning off my alarm clock.
I have time to do my workout later in the day, while she's at daycare, but it makes such a difference in my day to get it done earlier. I prefer to use that daycare time to run errands or work on my writing -- I have a deadline looming for my next magazine piece and it's slow going. But yesterday and today it just felt impossible to work out at 5:30 after not sleeping more than a couple of hours uninterrupted. (And before someone asks why my husband didn't get up with her -- he was working an overnight shift at the hospital and is as bleary-eyed as I am right now!) So I'm feeling rather behind on a few things -- but exercise is getting done!
The funny thing is that it's really, really hard to get started when I feel exhausted, but then it generally goes okay, and I'm glad afterward. I know that if I weren't still on a "program" I probably would have skipped exercise both these days, but I'm going to try to remember this feeling and at least do a little something every day, even if I've had a rough night. Luckily my daughter is a great sleeper and these kinds of things are rare.
And here's one other funny thing: my body feels like two bodies at once, the hard and the soft. I can really see my muscles, in my arms and legs, and if I dig a little bit, I can really feel my abs. But the soft parts -- the extra fat that's still there -- feels softer than ever, like it's just hanging off my frame. It's really strange. I was almost 20 pounds heavier before starting this program, and I know I've lost more than 20 pounds of fat because I've built so much muscle, but I felt like I was more solid then, more integrated. It's like I can see the shape that I'm supposed to be, underneath the fat -- I just have to keep working to get rid of it. No complaints here, mind you -- it's just really odd to be harder *and* more squishy at the same time.
Ten more days! Yikes! I'm going to take Patrick's suggestion and do 8MA every day from here on out, and we'll see where that gets me. Yes, I'm making a public vow to do *extra* ab work. What's happening to me??? :)
My daughter has a mild cold which doesn't cause her too much trouble during the day, but at night all the congestion makes her cough her little head off. So last night and the night before, I was up several times during the night, administering medicine, water, and hugs. (If she's having a really tough time, I sit up with her in a chair for a bit -- being vertical seems to help.) Both mornings I was planning to get up at 5:30 to do my workout, but both mornings saw me heading back to bed at 5 after being up with her, then deciding on a couple more hours of sleep instead and turning off my alarm clock.
I have time to do my workout later in the day, while she's at daycare, but it makes such a difference in my day to get it done earlier. I prefer to use that daycare time to run errands or work on my writing -- I have a deadline looming for my next magazine piece and it's slow going. But yesterday and today it just felt impossible to work out at 5:30 after not sleeping more than a couple of hours uninterrupted. (And before someone asks why my husband didn't get up with her -- he was working an overnight shift at the hospital and is as bleary-eyed as I am right now!) So I'm feeling rather behind on a few things -- but exercise is getting done!
The funny thing is that it's really, really hard to get started when I feel exhausted, but then it generally goes okay, and I'm glad afterward. I know that if I weren't still on a "program" I probably would have skipped exercise both these days, but I'm going to try to remember this feeling and at least do a little something every day, even if I've had a rough night. Luckily my daughter is a great sleeper and these kinds of things are rare.
And here's one other funny thing: my body feels like two bodies at once, the hard and the soft. I can really see my muscles, in my arms and legs, and if I dig a little bit, I can really feel my abs. But the soft parts -- the extra fat that's still there -- feels softer than ever, like it's just hanging off my frame. It's really strange. I was almost 20 pounds heavier before starting this program, and I know I've lost more than 20 pounds of fat because I've built so much muscle, but I felt like I was more solid then, more integrated. It's like I can see the shape that I'm supposed to be, underneath the fat -- I just have to keep working to get rid of it. No complaints here, mind you -- it's just really odd to be harder *and* more squishy at the same time.
Ten more days! Yikes! I'm going to take Patrick's suggestion and do 8MA every day from here on out, and we'll see where that gets me. Yes, I'm making a public vow to do *extra* ab work. What's happening to me??? :)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Day 78: Really? Really??
It's day 78?? Wow, I think I am actually going to finish this thing! ;-)
Just finished today's workout, it went really well. Jumping 7 minutes at a time is hard, but I bet we're going to have to do even longer stretches. I still trip pretty often but I just restart as soon as I can. By the end, I'm panting and sweating, so I guess I'm doing it right!
I REALLY DISLIKE AB WORK. I don't know what it is about the feeling of working ab muscles that I find much harder to tolerate than, say, burning leg muscles or shoulder muscles. When I really get into ab work I feel like I'm going to throw up.
BUT... it doesn't really matter because I'm doing it anyway! I'm thinking that, like my other angry/frustrated/aversion feelings about exercise, those feelings about ab work will slowly get a little quieter. In the meantime, grrrrrrrrr......
My husband made a statement last night that was so simple, so obvious, yet I hadn't really thought about it before. He was saying, "Well, you only have a little more time left on this program, so you'd better really hit those workouts hard." I said something like, "I'm really happy with the progress I've made, but I'm not finished -- I still have a lot of work to do. I'm not going to reach my ideal shape in 90 days." And then he said, "I've got a feeling it's not really about the 90 days."
--mind stops for a moment--
OH, he's right! It's good to have a fixed time period to focus on, to help keep me going when I feel tired and frustrated. "Only 46 more days left..." But, yeah, it's not really about the 90 days. And guess what? That statement doesn't make me feel depressed and trapped, like I'm going to be on some horrendous exhausting program for the rest of my life. It makes me feel like this has been an amazing apprenticeship of sorts, learning how my body works and what to do to make it as healthy as possible. It's not really about the 90 days.
That said, 12 more days! Ay yi yi!
Just finished today's workout, it went really well. Jumping 7 minutes at a time is hard, but I bet we're going to have to do even longer stretches. I still trip pretty often but I just restart as soon as I can. By the end, I'm panting and sweating, so I guess I'm doing it right!
I REALLY DISLIKE AB WORK. I don't know what it is about the feeling of working ab muscles that I find much harder to tolerate than, say, burning leg muscles or shoulder muscles. When I really get into ab work I feel like I'm going to throw up.
BUT... it doesn't really matter because I'm doing it anyway! I'm thinking that, like my other angry/frustrated/aversion feelings about exercise, those feelings about ab work will slowly get a little quieter. In the meantime, grrrrrrrrr......
My husband made a statement last night that was so simple, so obvious, yet I hadn't really thought about it before. He was saying, "Well, you only have a little more time left on this program, so you'd better really hit those workouts hard." I said something like, "I'm really happy with the progress I've made, but I'm not finished -- I still have a lot of work to do. I'm not going to reach my ideal shape in 90 days." And then he said, "I've got a feeling it's not really about the 90 days."
--mind stops for a moment--
OH, he's right! It's good to have a fixed time period to focus on, to help keep me going when I feel tired and frustrated. "Only 46 more days left..." But, yeah, it's not really about the 90 days. And guess what? That statement doesn't make me feel depressed and trapped, like I'm going to be on some horrendous exhausting program for the rest of my life. It makes me feel like this has been an amazing apprenticeship of sorts, learning how my body works and what to do to make it as healthy as possible. It's not really about the 90 days.
That said, 12 more days! Ay yi yi!
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