Sunday, August 29, 2010

Day 90: Wow

So it's Day 90. I had my usual PCP breakfast this morning and am just getting started on revising my magazine piece that's due tomorrow. I don't really feel all that different from yesterday, except I know that I've got to do a workout later that's probably not going to kill me. :-)

Actually, this is one very important thing I've learned: none of these workouts have killed me. I've felt very tired, very sore, and sometimes not very excited about working out, but nothing really bad has ever happened because I worked out. It sounds kind of silly when I write it down like this, but I think it's important to remember. Every day that I work out is an investment in my health and my future, and although it's been really hard at times, I've never thought afterward, "Well, that was a bad idea." I've only missed one workout over the course of 90 days (ONE!) and that was a day when I was pretty sick, so I rested instead -- and that was an incredible learning experience in itself, because I got better so quickly.

This is not the big sum-up post just yet. I still have a lot of thoughts to get in order, and I want to see what comes up for me when I'm not eating according to my little laminated sheet anymore. I can admit that I'm nervous about going out on my own and not counting everything. I think we've all known people who have lost a lot of weight and then, 6 months later, it's all back and then some. I'm not going to be that person. 6 months from now, I'm going to be in even BETTER shape than I am now. (Lucky for me, I still have some work to do!) But I know that in order to do that, I'm going to have to listen to my body and my mind in a way that I've never done before, not even during this 90-day program.

One thing that keeps coming up for me is an idea from Women, Food and God, a very interesting book that might be of benefit to anybody who's had issues with emotional eating. The author repeatedly goes back to the point that whenever you reach for food to handle emotions, you are telling yourself that you'll be destroyed by those emotions unless you eat something. And when you can be conscious enough to avoid that unnecessary eating, you are acknowledging that you won't be destroyed by whatever is bothering you, that you can deal with the emotions directly and you won't fall apart. For people who don't reach for food when they're upset, this may not make much sense. But I know that this is still an issue for me, even with all the knowledge I've gained about physiology and nutrition and exercise. The idea that I am emotionally strong enough to handle whatever comes up is very powerful, and it's helped me this week when I've been stressed out by a number of things. I know I'm going to continue working with this going forward.

In a way, I feel like it's helpful not to make TOO big a deal of "Day 90." Yes, I want to celebrate all of our hard work, and the fact that we ALL made it here! We have stuck with this program and more importantly, we have stuck together. That is incredibly valuable and I am so grateful to you all. I hope we can keep in touch a little bit too.

And on the other hand, it's just a Sunday in August. Summer is starting to fade and we're already talking holiday plans in my house. I have work to do, laundry to fold, and a child to raise. Life goes on.

Sending big PCP love to you all -- more soon.

11 comments:

  1. Congrats, Tara. It sounds like you've gotten stronger in lots of ways in these 90 days. Good luck with the article.

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  2. Happy Day 90, Tara!!

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  3. Did you do you workout yet? It was fun, yes??? :-D

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  4. Wise words from a wise woman. Congratulations. As you said, you'll only get better from here. Trust what you've learned!

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  5. congrats, tara! so it's not all champagne and fireworks on day 90, eh? you're right though - life just goes on. i know you'll incorporate all that you've learned in the days ahead. now that you and haley have both mentioned it, i better go get that book!

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  6. Good stuff, excellent outlook on life after PCP: there really isn't a before or after PCP, its just life...

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  7. Happy Day 90 !

    Let's keep in touch.

    6 months from now I will be in even better shape than I am now, yes, yes!

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  8. Interesting insight about food and emotion. Thanks for being so inspiring! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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  9. Congratulations Tara. You've been such an inspiration to me. It'll be weird to pop over to the site and not see an encouraging Tara post. You wrestled, you triumphed, you balanced, and now you've succeeded!

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  10. this post stopped me reaching for A LOT of bad food over this last weekend. it really hit me! i think i need to read this book!
    everyone comes to PCP with life/troubles/drama going on in the background (thats just life, eh!) but to see you juggling so many things and taking on PCP and being such an inspiration for your daughter.....
    very special lady.
    adios amigo! xxxx

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