So, somebody remind me again: why are tears a good thing in PCP-world? Because I had a very good workout.
It was the long sets of creep that got me today, after pistol squats, after jumping rope. It doesn't help that I'm really tired -- got up at 3:30am again this morning to do the early shift at the radio station. (But that's all for radio this week.) After the last set of creep, I just fell backwards in relief and spontaneously started sobbing. Since nobody else was home, I really let it fly. I got up after about a minute, wiped my tears away, and started on the chest dips. A couple more times before the end of the workout, I thought I was going to cry, but I didn't. Got through it all and gratefully took my shower.
I don't know where these tears come from or why they surface when they do. Yeah, some of these exercises are hard, but the pain is really temporary. And it's a totally different pain from when you stub your toe or wrench your back or something -- it's not an "I'm hurt" pain, it's a "working hard" pain. But I can say for sure that I've never worked this hard in my life. Every single day I'm doing more than I've ever done before. Which is awesome, and difficult. And awesome.
I'll be the first one to admit that I have a tendency to cry rather easily, in sad times and in happy times. But I've rarely cried during any kind of workout before this. The only other time I can remember was during a very long pigeon pose in a long-ago yoga class. Crying usually means I'm overwhelmed, and I usually take it as a signal to back off. But maybe crying doesn't mean that here? It's hard to know when to push harder and when to release a bit.
The big problem with crying in a workout is that it makes me feel like a weak whiny crybaby, even if I finish all my exercises. It's macho to grunt and holler and curse through that last set, but to cry through it feels really wussy. I hate feeling that way, and I know I was stalling this morning on starting my workout because I was afraid it would happen.
And my day rolls on... just finished lunch, hoping to close my eyes for a few minutes while my daughter naps, then headed to a "launch party" for the July issue of Louisville Magazine, which includes my article. (If you want to see the article, click here, then click through to page 34, where my piece begins.) I'm psyched about having all these good things going on, I just need the world to stop for a couple of hours so I can rest. Tomorrow, Friday & Saturday are going to be all about the birthday party.
Hope everybody is doing well and hanging in there with these tough workouts!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I almost cried again today, too. I so feel you. I'm a total crybaby! In fact, I've been really over emotional the past couple of days and have been fighting tears all morning.
ReplyDeleteSo, cry those tears. We all react differently! And, the workout tears must be good tears. :)
I think you are overwhelmed. I certainly have felt that way in the midst of some tough workouts. But wrapping your head around the 'failure, but not really a failure' part is part of the whole PCP challenge too. I'm still working on it myself. I just know that the tears are all part of the working through the tough spots to become your most awesome self. Now get some sleep, woman!
ReplyDeleteTears, sweat, same thing, just keep going!
ReplyDeleteBahah let's all roll in our puddle of tears. I think it's deffinately to do with the fact that it's EVERY DAY we are doing something, where as before pcp it excercise,atleast for me, was definately no every day task.
ReplyDeletethe breakdowns are our old habits last attempt to shatter us. SO. Shatter...because now you have all it takes to put yourself back together again, quickly. Where as before the shattering would lead to bad foods and etc etc.
you're strong.
doing absolutely swell!
Maybe those tears need to be let out? It's a healthy way to release whatever pent up emotions you have. Maybe you can welcome it.
ReplyDelete