Day 57: Back to life, back to reality

The last time I blogged was on Friday, now it's Tuesday -- that's probably the longest I've gone without checking in. I can honestly say that writing every day is a HUGE part of this program for me, and a big help in focusing my thoughts. So, it's good to be back!

I got back from Florida late last night, happy to be home with my family again. I had a really nice time in Florida, despite the insanely hot weather. My mom's best friend has a house about 1 block from the beach, and it was great to have some relaxing time with no schedule. I read an entire novel while I was there, and one rainy afternoon we all watched a movie. (An afternoon movie is basically unheard of for me!)

PCP world was challenging, but I did the best that I could. I thought we would be eating mostly at home so I thought it would be totally no problem, but the other three women were in "vacation mode" and wanted to go out to eat. A lot. Fortunately, in Florida it's easy to get grilled fish and salads, so I was in pretty good shape. One night we went out to a reallllly swanky restaurant and I was sad because I was supposed to be eating egg white & apple -- instead I ate a green salad with no dressing and some sushi. I felt a little guilty about the sushi (which I ordered because I needed some protein) but then I realized: I'm out to dinner at a fancy place, and I had no bread, no wine, and no dessert. Normally that kind of dinner would have included at least a couple glasses of wine, a couple pieces of bread with butter, a salad, a main course, and at least sharing a dessert. How far I've come! I was plenty full after my salad & a few pieces of sushi.

In a way, the weekend was like a test run for being back in "the real world." I felt like I was taking off the training wheels for a couple of days, learning to make good choices on the fly. I'm really proud of myself that I never said, "Oh, f*** it, I'm on vacation, I'll just have some ice cream" or whatever. I'm sure I took in more salt than I needed, and I'm not sure about the size of the protein portions I had. I ate some grilled shrimp that I'm pretty sure had butter on it, although I asked for it to be plain. I had a really sorry salad at the Chicago airport last night on my way home. So, no, not perfect, but I know I made the best choices I could. It's really hard to eat healthy out in the world!

As far as exercise, long brisk walks on the beach beat jumping rope any day! I was able to get the rest of my group to join me for sweating in out on the beach in the morning, then we went back to the house where they had breakfast and I did bicep curls, etc., in the living room. They were very supportive of my efforts, so that was helpful too.

I was feeling all this angst on Sunday, that I wasn't strictly keeping up with my diet, oh no, what is this going to do to me this week -- and then I had a realization. I CHOSE to have a little less progress in my body in order to have this relaxing weekend away. Mentally, I really needed it. I love being a mom but sometimes the best thing I can do is have a little time away from my daughter. It was so nice to be able to sleep in without having somebody wake me up at 6:30 singing the ABC's. (Although I LOVE hearing her sing...) So that was the tradeoff I made, and I think it was worth it.

And now I'm back, and grateful to be home where I can have more control over my food and my routine. I'm feeling REALLY motivated to redouble my efforts this week and make it a great one. Only 33 days left, gotta make them worthwhile! I'm working at the classical station today, and almost ready to eat the lunch I packed this morning. Mmmmm, roasted salmon... :)

I really missed reading all of your blogs this weekend and feeling like part of the team. Glad to be back!