This is going to be my first really grumpy post. I usually manage to keep a good attitude -- especially in public -- but tonight I'm bringing the bad attitude.
It's been a challenging day for the PCP. Today is my dad's birthday, and all he wanted for his birthday is for all of us -- him, my mom, my husband, my daughter and me -- to go to this quirky little theme park near Louisville called Holiday World. (Every section is themed with a different holiday, including Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, Halloween, but it's basically your standard carnival rides. Small, cute, fun.) I managed to do my workout this morning before we left, and I was really pleased that I got through all the jumps and even the lunges with minimal knee pain. Happy and tired after the workout. Crammed down my lunch before we left. Left my morning snack (banana) on the kitchen counter because I forgot to eat it before lunch. Didn't see how I could bring afternoon snack (yogurt) to an amusement park -- what, am I going to carry around a little cooler? -- so decided to skip it and just do my best.
Food at the theme park wasn't a problem -- I didn't eat anything! I wasn't hungry, and there ain't nothing PCP-friendly about a funnel cake and unlimited Pepsi. (Seriously, this place has free unlimited Pepsi for everybody. Crazy.) The problem began when my knee started acting up. The pain got worse and worse, and it became hard to chase my daughter around. Stairs got really tough. I hobbled out of the place when it was time to leave.
Then came dinner: we stopped at a decent chain restaurant where they have a lot of different things on the menu. I think I did pretty well: I ordered the Asian chicken salad, which was a pile of greens and other raw veggies, with a piece of chicken in some kind of sesame sauce. I'm sure it was salted but there weren't any other options. I skipped the dressing, skipped the fried wontons on the plate, skipped the chips & guacamole my dad ordered, skipped the wine my mom ordered... I got plenty to eat but I have to say I felt pretty deprived.
Then we got home and had cake for my dad's birthday. The traditional birthday cake in our family is a butter cake -- kind of like pound cake but better -- that my grandmother used to make, so my mom made it for today. I had a bite. One bite of my favorite cake, which is like my madeleine and takes me back to my childhood. Everybody else was chowing down on big pieces of cake and I just watched them, as my knee continued to throb.
So today feels like a bit of a bummer. I did my best to do everything right, despite some challenges, so I'm proud of that. But I'm also annoyed that I'm in so much knee pain (I've never had knee trouble before) and it was really tough to be around people eating "normal" food and I knew I wasn't going to partake. I'm happy for the weight I've lost and for the muscles I'm starting to see, but I'm really pissed off that I'm having this knee pain and it's making it difficult for me to get up and down stairs, etc. I'm also feeling tired all the time and ready to feel energetic.
I have to say that my parents and my husband are all in good shape and eat pretty healthy food, and they are supportive of me. I was bitching to my husband about how I feel and he just said, "It'll get better, you're going to do this and you're going to be glad you did." I know he's right. I'm not quitting, I'm not ready to blow everything, but at this moment I am definitely disliking these rules that I've decided to follow. I'm just feeling a little bit sorry for myself and hoping that tomorrow is better.
Thanks for reading my grumpfest.
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AHHH sounds like a crap day . You pulled through though so allow yourself to feel like crap today, as long as your doing everything your supposed to. That is so excellent that your getting the family support though!
ReplyDeleteI think we are all pretty grumpy at the moment haha, I still need to do my workouts for the day.
IT'LL GET BETTER!! I HOPE! , WELL sure it will, look at the other team! they seeeeem fiine and dandy!
Family dinner is challenging but you did so well. I am sorry about your knee.
ReplyDeleteIt will better and better each day.
And Patrick sent us a message that we can swim or go walking, etc. in stead of jumps!
You are great, Tara!
Tara you rocked it, today! Seriously, attitude aside your stats are awesome - so many opportunities to just say FORGET IT! GIVE ME SOME PEPSI, WINE, CHIPS AND CAKE! but you didn't say that, and that's pretty awesome. I feel you on the family cake - my family makes a very, very special cake, to which I am already planning to devote a full sappy blog post. We're scheduled to have it on July 7th and I don't know how i'm going to handle not having some. I will think of how you did it, that's what I'll do!
ReplyDeleteThe grumpiness is the unmentioned part of PCP: when you realize that your food changes are not so easy to make, especially with the pressure of friends and family who are enjoying (or seeming to enjoy) the old food habits that used to be your own. It's only 90 days! You can do this thing! You owe it to yourself to try it out!
ReplyDeleteBlog it out and switch in the brisk walks until the knee is back up to 100%, which it will be!
ReplyDeleteGlad you made it through! You have every right to be grumpy, and we will listen to you!!! xo!
ReplyDeleteDon't forget to be kind and patient with yourself. :) You're husband sounds wonderful...nice to have a supportive partner!
Thank you ALL for the good words. Feeling better this morning and glad I made the good choices yesterday, despite the grumpiness they produced. :) Heading out to take a walk...
ReplyDeleteSo brave and honest! Walking is good. I am back to jumping - not as many but my knee is so much better.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of the knee. See if you can isolate (using that information from E) which part of the knee is hurt. Once I isolated that, and did the right stretching exercises (and rested it) things got much much better...quickly.